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Maryland State Archives Jeffersonian, Towson, Maryland mdsa_sc3410_1_63-0319 Enlarge and print image (5M) |
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Maryland State Archives Jeffersonian, Towson, Maryland mdsa_sc3410_1_63-0319 Enlarge and print image (5M) |
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October 2, 1920—Page 6
THE JEFFERSONIAN, TOWSON, MARYLAND.
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AT THE SWITCH
We have everything prescribed by physicians and our compounding is conducted with skill and care by graduates of pharmacy. The special care which we give to
PRESCRIPTIONS
has caused our prescription department and every other department of our drug business to grow. This growth is continuous because people believe in pure drugs, superior service f \ right prices. Let Us Fill Your Next Pres' ptlon
STROBEL PHARMACY, Inc.
York Road
The Prescription Store"
2-i-iy GOVANS, BALTIMORE, MD
The Universal Shopping Center
HOCHSCHILD.KOHN 8cO
Numbered among our shoppers-by-mail are patrons from all sections of our own great State, as well as from each State of the Union.
Orders also reach us from Cuba, the Canal Zone, Canada, and even from faraway China and Japan.
Inquiries are welcomed, too. If your home stores cannot supply all your needs, write us for descriptions and prices.
We would be pleased to number you among our Shoppers-By-Mail.
Baltimore's Best Store
HOCHSCHILD.KOHN &.£<>.
Howard and Lexington Sts.
UNCLE JUKE BUCK
Goes To Hear Joooy Cox But As
Usual Gets IN Wrong
In Big City.
LAN SAKES! Reckon you folks, missed yer Uncle Jake, for he ain't been in no humor ter grab space and sling" ink fer ther Jeffersonian fer sometime, due ter er ailment what ole Doc Slash-um, the iminent and dignified human leg and arm butcher er Gobbler's Knob sez is newritus. If this is what yer Uncle Jake's got, gol durn if it ain't er bad name fer sech er disease, cause instead er having newritus, he's nor-itus. That this yer is so can't be denied, 'cause blame if yer's seen anything in this gol durn ole paper from my ink pot fer er couple dozen weeks.
CEAZER'g GHOST! Ther radicals in this yer Junited Statesj must think that in numbers there is strength. Ther committee er "forty-eight" got tergether to organize er "third party" It wer er odd number, but then, it was er odd set er folks back of ther movement; and it's jest ther sam* with this gol durn new charter fandangle fer Baltimore county; it's er odd set behind ther thing, an ther "third party" in this yer county is composed of no other distinguished, disgruntled and back-biting critters than ther ancient and honorable Billy Price, John Watson and ther eloquent Mr. Dietz,
I what's doing ther
I durndest ter try ter
I make ther people
I of this yer com-
1 munity believe that this yer new charter scheme'll be ther best thing what ever happened in this yer county. Ther other night brother Price held er one-man meeting up yer at Gobbler's Knob, and it was pitiful ther way he weeped and wailed over ther fact that ther inhabitants of ther Knob ought ter support ther radical move, which means chucking ther present and efficient form er government to ther bowwows.
YE GODS! Ter Uncle Jake's been doing er little detective work in and 'round Towstontown and he finds that them there peeple what live there ain't er bit satisfied with ther perlice conditions. Them rowdys what congregate on ther street corners, both white and black, ain't got no more fear of them town guards than if they was made of putty, and foks what's inclined ter do what's not jest right feel that they's more of ornaments than anything else. Seems to yer Uncle Jake that the ancient and honorable cheese er perlice, Carroll Stansburv, ought ter do some shifting, sending ther two brass button, blue coat dudes what's now on and off ther job in Tow-sontown (mostly off) ter some other section, and import other strong arms of ther law ter take their places. Prom
Just the Thing!
Don't put up with pains and misery of bunions-it's entirely unnecessary,
FAIRY FOOT
will relieve the pain—take out the swelling and soreness and restore the joint to normal size. Just like getting new feet. You'll be surprised at the results.
Guaranteed to satisfy you or all your money back.
HERGEJTBATHER DRUG' CO. Towson, Maryland.
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A Passenger Car Or Truck At Dealer's Cost
§ The distributor of a passenger car and truck of national reputation has decided to sell direct to the user, and thereby save you the dealer's profit.
^ Your purchase is guaranteed for one year with free service for the same length of time. ^ For further information and price address
Box 100 The Jeffersonian.
I:
what yer Uncle Jake saw, it's er wonder that them two critters ain't run-ned over when they take ther trouble and git up energy 'nough ter cross ther strict
NEROE'S "CARCUS! Ther ain't no telling jest how ther lection's going this year, cause nobody kin calculate on what ther weemen's going ter do. Reckon ther prettiest man'll win, by heck, and if he does won't that be er H—¦ of er sltate of affairs.
SIZZLING CAT FISH! Yer Uncle Jake done read in ther papers er couple days ergo that Jimmy Cox, ther Dem-mykrat candidate fer President was er goiner speak at one of them ther theatres in Baltimore, and believe me, yer Uncle Jake dolled up in full dress and rigged Mame in her finest and made straight fer town in my old tin chairot to hear Jimmy. We hurried so that we'd get er glimpse of ther swell folks, what ud come ter see Jimmy, and upon riving down on Baltimore street, right near ther bridge where ther gol durn paper sed Jimmy ud be, we stood on ther side walk. A handsome affair what I heard er fel-. ler standing near me say was er lime-bean, drove up and a fine looking gal and er chap got out after ther monkey what was driving ther thing went through all ther agony on earth ter git ther heavy glass door open without bustin his\ pants. Ther thing resembled er hearse. Ther feller was ther spitting image er Jimmy Cox, and by heck yer Uncle Jake up and speaks ter him, and he didn't seem ter know me at all. Sez I, I'm Jake Rye, er Gobbler's Knob and Towsontown. Here's me wife, Mame, and all I heard they guy say was, "we ain't got no arms), you beggars are a nuisance," and then a punch in therr jaw ended ther pleasant conversation, and so many stars yer Uncle Jak'e never saw before. Such er crowd. I never got into er jam like it before, and into the opera house we all rushed like er pack er hungry dogs. Yer Uncle Jake finally managed ter wiggle out of his human prison, and gee, wasn't it a relief? My high collar that was nigh bout as) high as er whitewashed fence ad wilted down so that I jest tucked it under and made er soft neglee out of it. I got er peep at myself in er lookin glass and my, what a freak. At first yer Uncle Jake thought that ther mirror was bad, but I recognized my ole mutt face—but where under the sun had Mame gotten to? We were now On ther inside of ther theater and when me and Mame strutted down the middle aisle, we caused sVme commotion. Them yaps must of thought that yer Uncle Jake was ther Senator from ther west er some other place, cause ther plause could be heard up at ther wireless station at Gobbler's Knob. Ther band came out of er rat hole underneath ther platform, and things, began ter git lively; gals with little or no clothes came out and jigged round, and' fellers dressed up like clowns cracked jokes, but durn if Jimmy Cox showed up at all. After spitting er couple dozen cuds er ter-baccer juice all over the floor and chewing ther but of er ole cigar what Hiram Rudlofferberger, ther Knob's candidate fer ther booby-hatch gave me before I left, yer Uncle Jake got kinda disgusted and meandered to ther sjtreet, and as I edged to ther curb er feller opened ther door of er handsome autermobile contrapshun with electric lights and all the "parsley" that goes ter make up a real righty autermobile, and I entered. I thought that probably ther boss at ther Jeff had sent his car ter take me and Mame home, so there was a hum and er buz, er couple dozen grinds and off fer ther tall timbers er spme other place ther thing whizzed. Yer Uncle Jake was carted through ther heart of ther city and, stopping directly in front of er mansion on the Lake Drive in Druid Hill Park, ther che,ffoneer jumped from ther seat and opened ther door. It was dark, very dark, it was extremely dark, hideously dark, spooky dark, damnable dark. As the door of the machine opened so did the door of the mansion also, and yer Uncle Jake took er chance and strutted. I climbed ther stairs, and at ther head er valet awaited me. I began ter wonder, ter study, and my brain wouldn't articulate. Ther gol durn dressed up monkey put me ter bed, folded up yer Uncle Jakes clothes, ther light all ther time was dim. very dim, durn dim. I heard ther clock strike 12, then off inter ther land of slumber yer Uncle Jake drifted, only ter be roused er little later by er feller what sez he was er perlice-man. and what shid "yer's me man." From ther aristocratic mansion I was ushered ter a wagon with fly screens all round it, and ther cop what had me tied ter him with er chain sed to ther driver, "to ther central," and to ther central we went. Going down in ther thing what ther bull sed was er perlice patrol, yer Uncle Jake got er little argumental with ther critter what was tied to him, and as a result was hit over ther bean with er broomstick what ther guy carried, and consequently he's laid in ther hospital fer er couple dozen weeks, which accounts fer his absence from ther columns of the Jeff.
HOLY MOSES! 'Taint no use arguing, yer Uncle Jake ud rather tell yer all bout it than ter have some other unkind blaggard do it fer him.
COX REAL CANDIDATE
No One Is In Slightest Doubt As
To Who Will Be President
If He Is Elected.
(Continued from Page 1, Col. 7.) obviously meant Europe and the World Not At All. Against the "Democratic" League of Nations he sets up the Republican-Root idea of American cooperation in the development of international law.
It is too late for Mr. Harding to practice such a conversion. We believe in the first place, that no system of international law and of international courts can be a substitute for the League of Nations. No court or law can supply the facilities for continuous discussion, conference and interchange of information which the League of Nations offers us as a brake on the war passions of humanity. We do not believe, in the second place, that any approach which Mr Harding may make towards a more enlightened view of our international relations can carry the conviction of sincerity. A candidate who has had to be pushed towards what he hates or what he is afraid of cannot bring the United States into the needed international relationship with the manly fervor in which we should enter.
This violent eleventh hour rush of Harding to Root impresses us as only another manoeuvre to that which resulted in the League of Nations plank at Chicago. Elihu Root was called in then to tide over an emergency. Elihu Root is called in again to tide over an emergency. By liberal hypodermic infusions of Elihu Root the Republican campaign may be kept going for the necesisary two months. But that is not the kind of campaign to stir men's minds and hearts.
In Gov. Cox we find a courageous advocate of a cause we believe in. He has shown the gift for bringing the issue of the League home to the people. Or, rather, he has demonstrated how truly his; own position on the League corresponds to the sentiment of the great majority of the American people. We have been told that the nation is interested in everything but the League. Gov. Cox has shown in the course of his campaign that the nation is eager to hear about the League and to hear the right thing about it.
In speaking of the League of Nations as the paramount issue it is not our intention to imply that Gov. Cox's support of the League is the only argument that can be made for his election. On many other problems of the day the Democratic nominee has taken a position deserving of approval. His utterances on the need of governmental reorganization in the interests of economy and efficiency, backed up by his record in Ohio are sound. His discussion of the problems of taxation reveals a serious attempt to grapple with this important question, though unquestionably we have still to wait for a definitely worked out program. His views on the relations of capital and labor, again backed up by his record as Governor, are in line with sane, progressive thought
Qualifie/3 in other respects, Gov. Cox is to us t rculiarly qualified by his constancy f- the dominant issue in the campaif ..
AT HOME IN ANY COMPANY
THE HANSON SIX
The Specifications Tell the Story
The man who owns a Hanson Six will tell you this—
HTHAT only the power of plain language can fully describe the solid, abiding worth of the Hanson Six. That it has Power that asks no odds of obstacles—Durability that insures the undiminished performance of that power—Beauty that plainly speaks of artistry in every detail—Comfort that enhances the enjoyment of every mile you drive it, and a degree of automobile service that inspires satisfaction and admiration as long as you own the car.
Motor: Continental Red Seal, Liberty Type, 54 H. P. Starting, Lighting- and Ignition: Delco. Carburetor: Marvel. Battery: Prest-o-Lite Co. Transmission: Covert Gear Co. Clutch: Borg & Beck. Universal: Universal Products Co. Steering Gear: Gemmer. Axles and Bearings: Timker. Springs: Steel Products Co. Drag Link: Cincinnati Ball and Crank Co. Frame: Detroit Pressed Steel Co. Wheels: Kelsey Wheel Co. Radiator: Our own design made by Long Radiator Co. Body: Upholstering, top, fenders and all sheet metal work
made in our own factory. Cord Tires Regular Equipment. Wheel Base 121" Model : Touring, Sedan, Sport, Roadster. Catalog showing all models on request. Hanson Bodies, Hood, Fenders, and all Sheet Metal Work Aluminum.
HANSON MOTOR COMPANY, Inc.
Baltimore Office: 702-4 St. Paul Street
York Road Garage Baltimore County Representative.
9-25-52w
ME
Thvcks
Commerce construction embraces more nationally known standard units than are found in any Other truck. Here they are, CHECK THEM.
Continental Red Seal Motor, Spi-cer Universal Joints, Torbensen rear axle with Timken Bearings, Zenith Carburetor, Detroit Gear Company'sTransmission.Wlllard Storage Battery, Detroit Steel Products Springs, Jacox Steering Gear, Our Own Specially Designed Cast Tank Radiator.
TOW initial cost, economical operation, min-•L-' imum up-keep expense, are factors not to be overlooked in the selection of a motor truck.
The Commerce Truck represents a value not to be duplicated in its class — price, serviceability, dependability, reputation.
An investigation of performance records in farm and commercial use will prove convincing arguments why Commerce Trucks merit consideration.
Chassis Prices $1500 to $1895
F. O. B. Detroit, Mich.
THE COMMERCE MOTOR CAR COMPANY, DETROIT, MICHIGAN
Ninth Yaar Manufacturers Motor Traeh*
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